Now it seems that I have to reopen it, because of an encounter last month on the MRT, when to my biggest surprise, my junior high school Chinese teacher whom I haven't seen for 18 years shouted out my name without hesitation.
All the memories from that time surfaced to the deep blue sea of my unwanted past. The feeling of being laughed at, being rejected and isolated, being far from an environment I would die to be in... The feeling of being unhappy because I just didn't want to be there.
I still remember the feeling of the dust from the playground on my wooden little desk, among 50 others. The feeling of wearing a uniform. The feeling of being beaten on my both palms. The smell of the sweat after running to the class and the sound of mischievous laughters from people teasing at someone.
Maybe I have to open it, and kill the bad memory in it. Or should I just burn the Pandora's box, and forget again about this past? You who are reading these lines, tell me what to do...
2 comments:
Hey Taijing:
How are you doing? You know! There are always good and bad memories in the life. Because of bad one, we can cherish the good one and never forget it. You don't have to force yourself to forget the past. Maybe it is the reason making you so special. Right now I can see everything good from you. You have done so much better than many people. You don't need to look back at all. You know who you are. Be good!
I am doing fine here. Talk to you soon. Wu-ling
Adjusting from one culture to another, especially from freer to more constraining, liberal to the conservative, can put so much confusion and stress in your life. I can imagine, being so young and adjusting yourself back to Taiwan was such a difficult task for your fresh and dreaming african soul! A good news is, what you have experience was quite natural given the situation and the fact that you have strived it have made you much richer/understanding/loving person!! I think what you should do is to congratuate that little Taijing back then to have worked so hard to make it right!! You have done something so sugoi at such a young age ne;)
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